Random halfway thoughts

28 Aug

Well, we’ve made it through 20 weeks of pregnancy. The time seems to be flying by and I am sure it will only go by faster as the holidays approach. Over the weekend, I began to realize that I wasn’t a very nice person during my first trimester. We were having a snack at Panera at the mall and I recalled being pretty nasty to a guy that worked there because he wouldn’t give me an egg and cheese sandwich for lunch (even though it clearly states breakfast is over at 10). Thankfully, the desperation and misery I felt during those early weeks has passed and I am now in the “honeymoon” stage of pregnancy. I plan to enjoy it while it lasts! Despite being only at the halfway point, I have already learned that pregnancy is much harder than I ever imagined. From the way you feel physically and emotionally, along with all the decisions that must be made in preparation for the baby’s arrival, it is utterly exhausting.

Since finding out that we were expecting a boy, my thoughts have moved on from pregnancy and birth woes to actually thinking about the life of this baby. It is hard to put into words all the things that have been on my mind. My thoughts are consumed with everything baby. From nursery to clothes to what he looks like to where he will go to college to what he will be when he grows up, I can’t stop thinking about the little boy growing inside of me. But the truth of the matter is, none of those things really matter. What I really care about is creating a wonderful foundation for his life. I will only have him home for 18 short years and there is so much I want to ensure I give him during that time. Naturally, I want nothing but the best that life has to offer for my son. With that, I want expose him to many different things so that he will become a well-rounded and open-minded individual. I want to ensure his childhood is one of wonderment and exploration of the world near and far. I want him to understand that there is much more to this world than life inside Belle Meade, TN (or wherever we happen to live in the future). I want him to know the importance of working hard to achieve a goal and persevering through difficult trials. I want to teach him compassion towards all others. I want him to share the love I have for animals. I want to show him to be kind, gentle and strong. I want to give him the foundation to make his own choices about how to live his life and what he believes. But above all, I will do everything within my power to ensure his life is full of happiness, joy, and unconditional love.

It is amazing how much you can love someone you have never met. I feel so overcome with love for both my husband and my son. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful man to walk beside me through this life each and every day. He shows his love for me every day, in the little ways and the big ways (even if he doesn’t know it). He always wants the best for me and pushes me to be my best. I know without a shadow of a doubt that he is going to be the most amazing father. If you have ever seen him with our little girls, I’m sure you agree. I so look forward to seeing the look on his face when he meets his son for the first time.

One thing I have learned about pregnancy is that it turns you in to a big ball of mush (as you can tell from this post! Ha!)! I have never felt so genuinely happy in my life. I already feel like a better person from becoming a mom and he isn’t even here yet! I can only imagine what I mess I am going to be after he arrives.

And for a little something fun, I bought the first thing for the nursery yesterday! Maybe this will give you a hint of the style!


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